To Be Seen Not A Reality
by Kajune
Summary: -6918- It wasn't like him to love me back, nor was it like him to ask for sex.


**Title** : To Be Seen Not A Reality

**Disclaimer** : I do not own any of the Characters including KHR.

**Genre** : Romance/ Angst

**Summary** : -6918- It wasn't like him to love me back, nor was it like him to ask for sex.

---

It wasn't like him to love me back, nor was it like him to ask for sex.

Hibari Kyoya is the one I love.

The one who took my heart away a month ago. Though I do not know why, I seem to like having affections for him. Even though they only cause great pain and sadness for me. Hibari Kyoya will never love me. Never. He will see me nothing more than a someone, or something worthy to bite to death. After that, I am nothing to him.

He is everything to me. Everything. I'd die a thousand lifes just for him.

If only he saw me more than an opponent, then there would be a chance for us. Us, only us. But alas, Hibari Kyoya hasn't even got the slightest hint about me loving him. Why? Because I prevent him from knowing. If he knew, he would be mad. If he knew, he would be frustrated. If he knew, he would hate me more. If that was possible.

One night, he comes to Kokuyo Land, and hugs me. He whispers...

"Fuck me."

I knew from the very moment he walked towards me that he was drunk. His face, his expression, the way he walks, all say that he is drunk. I fear that he does anything crazy, and greatly regrets it the next day. I fear that so much.

I plan to take him back home, unseen. Though I do not know where it is, I might be able to get him to tell me. But before I could say a word, his right hand takes a hand full of me. I moan. I try to push him off gently and tell him to stop but he only gribs harder and kisses my lips. My eyes widen in shock.

I have taken his first kiss. No matter who's fault it is, I will be blamed.

I'm so sorry, for not being more careful.

His right hand starts to stroke me threw my pants, causing me to moan in our mouths. His togue forcively enters my mouth, causing the most worst reaction I could have at the moment.

I become aroused.

I can not feel aroused. I'm not surpose to. But his hand just makes it so tempting, and I love this person for crying out loud. I love him. I can't just say no to an offer like this!

But, for our sakes, I should say no, no matter what.

However, I was unable to do or say anything due to Kyoya pushing me onto a sofa near by. _The_ sofa, that I sat on as one of the most amazing people came in to kill me. Oh how I regreat treating him that way.

His left hand began pulling up my shirt as our lips collided again. His right hand no longer touched me, but it was now stroking my hair. Our manhoods were pressed together by him, who was above me.

All of this, was becoming irrasistable!

I..I love this body, this smell that he carrys, and the offer he gives me. I love them all, and him, the most.

I'm sorry, Kyoya.

Please, just this once, may I have you.

---

His voice, sounds so lovely. It makes me want to thrust into him harder, causing him to cry out even louder. His body, is so beautiful. His skin, is so soft. His figure, is so perfect. Oh how I love what I see.

Even though it is killing me inside.

Doing this isn't the best idea; it is the worst. Even though he is my heart and soul, I can not touch him in anyway, due to have scard a forever shameful feeling upon him. I wish to apologize, but words cannot help anything.

More when it's Hibari Kyoya.

But just this night, I want to make love to him.

Even though he'll forget the next morning, I don't mind. That's for the best. I will make sure he will not remember the entire event, trust me.

Trust me, Kyoya.

---

The next morning, Hibari Kyoya woke up in his 'office'.

The last place he was at before heading to a bar, with Dino, whom forced him to go there. (I beat the hell-out-of that guy for doing so, he's unconsious in a hospital right now.)

He was in the clothes he last remember wearing, which were the clothes I saw him in on our first day meeting each other.

He rubbed his eyes before scanning the room, with a confused look on his face.

"What happened?"

Within an illusion hides the truth, within the truth hides an illusion. This is the Mist.

That is why, I am able to hide any memories of going to the bar. All he remembers is, filling out some forms a few minutes before Dino came in. Everything else, is forgotten, from being drunk.

He thinks for a while, but then shakes it off, and says...

"I must off dozed off."

He does not know anything. He is clueless about last night. The night where I, would of broken his heart if he remembered what happened.

Doing this, makes me like a dream to him, not a reality. Which is exactly how he sees me. He sees me as a shadow, that can entertain him when needed, or desired. My heart and soul is nothing to him, as long as they are gone, he couldn't care less about my feelings.

So it would be best, if I was not reality to him.

To talk to him, to kiss him, to touch him without him remembering, would be the best way to let out my feelings. Not to hold them in for so long until they burst out and almost give me heart attack.

Though, doing this, will still hurt me inside.

To be seen, invisible. Dead. Or even, not reality is painful, when it is seen like that by the loved one of you. But I have no other choice, last night said it all. He is no longer virgin and he seems ok, because he is clueless.

I am not reality to him.

I and my feelings couldn't mean less to him.

So I, shall live behind the Mist, and say love to him, without him knowing.

Because I am the Mist.

---

**End**


End file.
